"You don't have to be somebody different to be important. You're important in your own right."- Michelle Obama.
There have been a couple of things that have happened recently that have fueled my thinking for this post. The first thing was related to reactions to my recent post about worry. I had a number of people comment to me that they were surprised to learn that I am a worrier because I do not give that "vibe" in my daily life. This was laughable to my family, who has tried to have worry added to my name. The other was actually a couple of things that happened yesterday. When I was sharing an update on my vision with our superintendents one year out from sharing my entry plan after being hired into my current position, I shared that I was enjoying some of the connections I was making with some of them and that I was working to get out and connect with all of them, but that it isn't always easy for me. Then later in the day, we had a retired teacher reception and my boss was teasing me about getting in front of the group to talk. My co-workers commented about how it surprises them that some of these situations are hard for me because I am so social, and I owned up to the fact that while I am social, I need to have "my people" and I prefer to be invited in. What is common to both of these situations is that I was willing to completely share and "own" aspects of my personality that some might see as weaknesses, especially considering my profession.
Now, I do have to admit that when I got home last night, I did worry about whether or not my tendency to struggle with "putting myself out there" is a trait that might hinder my ambitions as an administrator and educational consultant. Ultimately, though, I decided that what is important is that I have worked to overcome that struggle. Furthermore, the fact that people are surprised by it indicates that I must do an okay job at overcoming it. In fact, what I could do is just pretend that it isn't a struggle for me and just keep it inside. Maybe then no one will ever know that I have these flaws. This is the focus of my blog for today. As educators, really as people, it is important for us to own who we are. As Brené Brown says in her books and Ted Talks, vulnerability is key to success, relationships, and leadership. I love her work and her ideas always push my thinking. In fact, my professional learning team at work is doing a book study on Brown's book Dare to Lead. Okay- I need to own it- we STARTED to do a book study, then got busy with the holidays, and haven't gotten back to it. (Yes- I realize it is APRIL).
As I think about it from an education viewpoint, I realize just how important this is for teachers. When teachers own their mistakes or weaknesses in front of their students, they are sending a very important message about the imperfections of humans and the need to persevere. They are opening themselves up to their students as human beings who are real and fallible and they are teaching students important lessons about humility and grit. When a teacher can stand in front of his students and tell them that he really struggled with math and had to work extra hard just to keep up or that maybe he did not even like math but now he does, he has just removed pressure from those students who are struggling with math. When a teacher tells stories about how hard it was for her to talk to people that she does not know, she is connecting with students who feel the same way. Furthermore, in both cases, these teachers can talk about how they have, or are working to overcome these things. Or better yet, they can ask for their students to help them with ideas.
This was a little hard for me at first when I was a teacher. I felt like I needed to know everything and be the ideal for my students. It did not take me long, however, to realize that this just could not happen, nor was it good thing. When I had a 5th grade student walk in my room with a 7 pound book about Quantum Physics, saying "Mrs. Bergmann, I have a question." I had absolutely no problem saying, "Michael, if it has anything to do with what you read in that book I am NOT going to be able to help you."
As an administrator, I have never really struggled to "own" the things that I know are not my strength or admitting that there are many things that I do not know how to do. Just ask any of the administrative assistants that I have, or continue to work for. Yes, I said work FOR, because as much as they have worked for me I work for them- I could not do this work without them and they have always known that. I also learned to find teacher leaders who had strengths that complimented my own. If I had any hope of supporting an entire school community, I had to be aware of the areas that were not my strength and find the people on my team who did have those strengths.
When administrators in schools or districts do not make themselves vulnerable and admit to their areas of need, their communities suffer. When a leader does not own his/her areas of weakness and does not find team members to compliment them, it will be impossible to realize a vision for the community. Words can cover for a lack of capacity for a short time, but when there is no skill to back it up, structures fail and that is when the vision for the community is lost.
Students whose teachers are not vulnerable miss out on opportunities to connect, to learn about perseverance, to learn about grit, and to overcome their own insecurities. School communities whose leaders are not vulnerable become lost.
Do not let this be you- OWN IT!!
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